If I could do wedding planning over again…

Almost seven months ago, I flew out of the Rochester, NY airport en route to San Diego, CA to ask for Robyn Elliott’s hand in marriage. Approximately four weeks from now we will exchange our vows to be husband and wife. IMG_5804

Two questions emerge post engagement. How did you get engaged? What are the plans for your wedding? The in between of engagement and wedding day encapsulate a wide range of emotions. Some things smoothly fell into place, while other aspects seem like fight windmills. All in all, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know and working with Robyn during this planning season.

As we move closer and closer to that day, I asked myself this questions, “If I could do wedding planning over again, what would I change?”

1. Create a planning list with realistic due dates a week after the engagement.

Robyn immediately started her own list and compared it to the Knot. What I should have done was posted this list to my pillow and read it every night. Men you need to see this to do list to understand how much planning a wedding involves. I wish I would have taken action sooner.

2. Take notes from your conversations.

It seemed that we talked about the wedding each time we saw each other in person. Both Robyn and I had trouble remembering certain decisions we made. Writing things down is a form of finalizing decisions. Recording decisions allows you to see progression in the planning.

3. Relieve as much stress from your bride as possible.

Robyn has been so steady and patient through this planning. I regret not taking action sooner on some of my responsibilities. Find ways to relieve stress for your relationship. Finish things early without needing reminders. It makes all the difference for your bride.

4. Do the unexpected.

Write notes. Bring her chocolates. Buy flowers. Send her special text messages. I never really understood all the stress a bride goes through until I experienced wedding planning for myself. Through this roller coaster of events, look for ways to show you cherish her. From what I hear from married couples, this is something you can plan on for a lifetime.

What would you add to this list? How would you have planned for your wedding differently?



  1. Love this. You are a great guy Peter.

  2. FAMILY. Just as your suggestions highlight the importance of deliberate expressions towards the bride during this exciting but stressful time, moms and dads, brothers and sisters may also need to be included. Those who have been part of your inner circle up till now, can feel a sense of loss – unsure just how they will now fit into your new life. A special time with them to express your thanks and appreciation for all they’ve done and all they’ve meant over the years is a priceless gesture forever remembered. As a Dad who has given away two daughters and watched them take a new last name, I remember how I felt amidst all of the activity and planning.

    • Peter Englert

      September 25, 2013 at 1:51 pm

      Bill, thank you for the really insightful piece of advice. The way you described what the family is going through gives another perspective in planning a wedding. This makes me think you should start your own blog. I appreciate you and hope you are doing well down in PA.

  3. Key thing to remember: The wedding day is never pulled off without a hitch. The hitch may be really small, or it may be a good deal larger, but the wedding day WILL come and go and nobody will remember the little boo-boos that took place. If something doesn’t go right, just let it roll right on by. Your wedding day, with the help of family and friends, will be a joy to you both and you’ll remember every little bit of it as a wonderful memory.

    Bottom line is that life is to short to sweat the small things. We can’t wait to see you speak your vows and start your lives together as husband & wife!!

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