“The more honest we are with ourselves, the more broken we realize we are.” My Mother-In-Law, Kathy Elliott, made this comment in the midst of a conversation. We innately desire to control our press releases. Call it lying, partial truths, or spinning; There comes a moment when we recognize the reality of our flaws.

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PBS airs a British comedy called Keeping Up with Appearances on Saturday nights. The opening credits depict a series of blunders and mistakes with the main character. When I think about insecurity, I come back to the title of this sitcom; the desire to appear to ourselves and to others as having everything all together, but actually falling apart.

Pastor James MacDonald defines insecurity as, Insecurity is the uneasy, unsettled, and fearful awareness of the gap between who I want to be and who I am.”

The truth may set us free and recognizing a problem initiates the first step towards growth, but the honesty of our flaws still deflates us. We desire the appearance of the future version of ourselves only to realize we are far from there yet.

You can identify the responses to insecurity. Some people never acknowledge it. They go on living thinking everyone else has the problem. Others live subjected to their own failures and mistakes to never take the next step. Many of us live with an internal conversation of the fear of being found out as lacking.

How does the message of Jesus transform our view insecurity? The Gospel adds the word “and.” We find out we are more flawed than we could ever realized and more loved by God than we could ever imagine. Far more than merely more than becoming honest about ourselves, we can begin to become honest about who Jesus is.

St. Augustine made this statement in Confessions, “A friend is someone who knows everything about you and totally accepts you as you are.” This points to Jesus, but also reminds us of the people He has placed in our life who fit this statement. Acceptance becomes the starting place for growth. Jesus throughout the Gospels spent time with people and they changed. Isn’t this the way it is in our life? We grow the most around the people who accept us and see the evidence of grace in us.

So when we come face to face with truth of our insecurities, let us find the “and” of the Gospel. The honesty which can deflate us can ultimately lead us true acceptance, healing and growth by God’s grace.

Photo credit to Olya Myers Photography.