Who have you been checking-in with during the lockdown?
You have found yourself calling your family, friends, coworkers, small group members, and neighbors. Hopefully, you realize how vital creating space for these interactions has become. Your texts, phone calls, FaceTimes, Skypes, Zooms, etc. matter to the closest people in your life.
As we continue to stay the course with social distancing, it will become increasingly important to care for the people that you usually see regularly. Checking-in speaks volumes because you have no agenda except for sharing your concern.
For example, if you lead a team, they need to know how much you value people as individuals rather than a task transaction. We’re busy and in the middle of a crisis, but this season reflects more The Softer Side of Leadership, as titled in Eugene Habecker’s book.
No matter your role or relationship, you might feel lost to what questions to ask. I want to provide with you five helpful questions to check-in on the significant relationships in your life:
1. On a scale of 1-10, one being terrible and ten being fantastic, how has this week been for you?
Subjective questions can provide surface answers. Inviting a person to put a number on a week can help them share a few high and low points. We can brush over the, “How are you doing?” question. Scales invite self-reflection.
2. What areas of your life or situations are causing you the most anxiety?
I believe it’s safe to say, we all are experiencing some degree of anxiety. Directly asking this question invites safe listening rather than solving a problem. Anxiety keeps us on the hamster wheel of our minds. You asking a person this question to some degree allows them to get off the wheel.
3. What wins have you experienced in the last week?
Check-ins allow conversations to move our perspective. As important as it is to ask about the stresses, we have the opportunity to help those around us see what’s working well. We neither dismiss the negative or positive reality, but invite our conversations to see the whole picture.
4. What has God been teaching you in this season of lockdown?
Spiritual questions matter. Your conversations can create space for a person to consider God’s work in their life. All of us need to move from a horizontal towards a vertical view in seeing what God might be teaching us. This question prompts a person to consider that view.
5. How can I pray for you?
Ending each conversation with prayer can redirect our attention. I find it valuable for people to hear me pray for them. When they share precisely what they need prayer for, it also validates that you have listened and your concern.
What questions do you find helpful for checking-in? Share them in the comment section below.