Disappointment weighs us down. One enormous disappointment feels like pulling a boulder. Several seemingly insignificant disappointments feel like carrying a backpack with hundreds of pebbles.
You could label 2020 the year of disappointment. We lost the ability to go to stores freely. We grieved the missed graduations, vacations, and sports seasons. As things reopen, we have to learn how to hold these pleasures loosely in the caution of another spread of the Coronavirus.
Often, disappointment motivates us in less than ideal ways. Some of us shrink back into isolation. Others will succumb to workaholism. Then, stuffing disappointment in the recesses of our hearts will burst at some point.
People often confuse the Bible with dismissing disappointment, but on the contrary, the writers of Scripture embrace this depth of human experience.
Paul, an apostle of Jesus, wrote much of 1 & 2 Corinthians out of his disappointment with the church. The Corinthian church demeaned Paul because he did not look like a super-apostle. Also, his writing of these letters comes out of great suffering.
In knowing a little of this background, look the first few verses of 2 Corinthians:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
A surface-level reading of these verses can seem to indicate cliché adages like, “Let go and let God.” On the contrary, Paul writes these verses to the very people who disappointed him. The rest of the book will unpack the variety of suffering and pain he has endured.
When it comes to disappointment, the writers of Scripture do not communicate a shallow hope that all will work out. Instead, they employ the reality of their suffering and pain, recognizing a Savior who comforts.
Paul can comfort the Corinthian church out of his disappointment because he has received hope from Jesus in this dark season.
Today, you might have a boulder or a backup of a hundred pebbles of disappointment. I want to share with you four questions to ask yourself to move forward from disappointment:
What has disappointed you?
You cannot heal what you do not acknowledge. Disappointment dysfunctionally motivates us, and that results from not starting with the question of what caused your disappointment. Someone let you down. You missed an opportunity. You experienced several inconveniences. Naming the disappointment releases its grip on us.
How has God disappointed you?
Philip Yancey wrote the seminal work, Disappointment with God. We either glaze over our disappointment with God or place the bulk of the blame on Him. The Psalmists invite us to bring our disappointment to God. Often, the weight of disappointment results from wondering why God didn’t intervene in a way we expected. Rather than holding on to that or stuffing it in resentment, bring it to the light.
What lies have surfaced in my disappointment?
We carry around with us false messages that we believe. If you face disappointment from being left out, you might consider the lie that you don’t matter. These lies insidiously gnaw at our spiritual and emotional health. They cause resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, and loneliness.
What truth of the gospel do I need to uncover?
Facing disappointment opens the door for you to embrace the truth of the gospel where you might have believed a lie. The good news of the gospel reminds us of a Savior who faced the most radical of disappointments in the cross but offers us new life in His resurrection. Jesus meets our brokenness with His grace. A healthy process of disappointment will move us to see Jesus and His work, rather than our exhaustion from finding our significance, worth, value, and performance. That’s good news!
What questions help you in moving forward from disappointment? Share in the comment section below.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash