How has your marriage been navigating the extra stress during the Coronavirus?
Husbands and wives have found themselves more exhausted. The pressures of work and parenting can weigh us down each day. Then to consider the worry about the uncertain future about the Coronavirus adds extra cycles in our minds. If work-life-balance seemed elusive before this pandemic, it could feel downright impossible now.
The shutdown and quarantine might have enhanced our relationships. Some have found more time with their families. Husbands and wives may have enjoyed a few significant moments together too.
Seasons of stress can take our focus off our marriages. We attend to the fires at work. We respond to the needs of our kids. Survival mode most often unintendedly takes our attention off our spouse.
No matter where you find yourself in your marriage, what if you found fifteen-twenty minutes to check in with your husband or wife in the next two days? Yes, we feel tired. Yes, it could seem daunting to find the time. Taking a moment to make your marriage a priority could set the tone for the rest of this shutdown and quarantine.
I want to suggest six questions you can ask your spouse in this stressful season to reconnect with each other:
- What’s one aspect of the quarantine that has pleasantly surprised you?
Worry and anxiety place the majority of the focus on the present and future. Taking a moment to look back will remind us that many of our worst-case scenarios did not all come to pass.
- What’s causing you the most stress today?
This question invites us to listen and not fix it. During stressful seasons where we find ourselves now, we need to start with the present. You are helping your spouse process and find reprieve. Asking about today causes more specificity than an open-ended question.
- What’s one way that I can support you in this season?
This question prompts us to think about the love languages introduced by Gary Chapman – quality time, touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts. It’s critical to find out how we can add to our partner’s love tank in this time of stress.
- When can I give you an hour of alone time?
My wife has said to me the importance of her taking a walk. Sometimes your husband and wife can feel guilty asking for alone time. You asking this question can give them permission to re-charge. You might want to consider asking this question daily too.
- What’s one local takeout restaurant we can support for a date?
Have fun. Pick a restaurant to support and have a mini-date at home. The simple act of trying a new restaurant or a regular go-to can lighten the discussion. Find a way to enjoy time together.
- How can I pray for you?
Lastly, I believe your husband or wife needs to hear you pray for them. Wherever we find ourselves in stressful seasons, we need to take time to direct our worries and anxieties to Jesus together.
What questions do you find helpful to ask your spouse in a stressful season? Share in the comment section below.
Photo by mulugeta wolde on Unsplash