Twenty Birthdays Past – A Letter to a Younger Me

Peter,

Today, you celebrate your birthday. Twenty years from this point, your life will look completely different. I want to take a moment to share with you a few insights that will help you navigate your teenage, college, and young adult years.

First, your dreams will not come true. You will not play in the NBA. You will not get a college scholarship to play basketball. You will play high school ball and intramurals in college. For obvious reasons, God did not create you to play basketball. Hilariously, you will find out that you did not really want that in the first place. Often, God graciously closes doors for us.

You will meet Dr. H. Robert Rhoden, who will say this, “My life has exceeded my dreams.” With every passing year, you will become more convinced what God has for you far exceeds what you desire at the moment.

Insecurity will inhibit you spiritually and relationally. You have come to believe a lie that you only matter to Jesus by what you can offer him. That’s not the Gospel. Ultimately, this problem will affect other relationships. You will discover that you cannot earn or perform enough to garner love and acceptance.

Someday, you and your wife will hold your baby girl. Whether she sleeps, cries, or smiles, you will delight in her. You will say this to her each day.

You are loved by God
You are created in His image.
And He is particularly fond of you.

Those words will mean as much to you as to her. The first two sentences you will mentally comprehend on a theological level, but it will need to hit your heart. The third sentences will trip you up. You can never work your way towards God’s love and acceptance because He has freely offered it through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Your value does not come from your performance. Your worth does not result from a position. The security you so desperately desire only comes from the fact that God delights in you.

Brennan Manning says this:

“In my efforts to overcome my lifelong struggle with self-hatred, the despair of ever being worthy of love, I have been aided immeasurably by trusted and trusting friends who, with no ulterior motive, see something in me that I cannot see in myself. They do not merely tell me, they relate to me in a way which shows that they find me lovable. Learning to trust my friends has been a slow, but invaluable process.”

In each season of your life, God will put essential people in your life. They will serve as friends and mentor. Each one will dismantle the lie that you only matter to them because what you offer them. These relationships will teach you the Gospel – you are loved because what Jesus has done not what you have done. Listen to these people. Cherish these people.

Lastly, live your life as open-handed as possible. God will bring the best opportunities when you least expect it. Instead of spending time plotting your future with questionable ambition, faithfully serve where God has placed you. Find the joy in the ordinary and mundane, because God has filled you with more grace than you can see.

Twenty birthdays later will come to see that God has given you far more than you can ever deserve. Your life will not go as planned, but when you sit with your wife, daughter, family, and friends, you will again consider the words of Dr. Rhoden in this season, “My life has exceeded my dreams.”

Signed,
Peter – July 16, 2018