I sat across from a friend at lunch. We reminisced about our college experience a few years prior. The conversation turned towards our growth since that chapter of our lives. In the midst of this conversation, he commented to me, “You listen better now than before. I remember how often you used to interrupt people…”
My friend’s observation caught me off guard. I began to rewind our conversations. Each episode I played back in my mind pointed to a moment where I could have listened more intently. The truth of what he said scared me because I had to recognize an area of growth in my life. His comment also confirmed the truth about growth in my life.
The truth hurts. It sounds like a trite saying after someone gives a sharp piece of feedback. You and I want to grow, but listening to the reality about ourselves feels like root canal work: a necessary process with an enormous amount of pain.
If people could share the honest truth with you, what would they say?
That question can scare us. The truth can confirm a fault we always knew or make us aware of an area of growth we did not see. It can come out of a place of love from another person and at other times they say it out of their selfishness. For us to truly grow and mature, we have to learn to receive difficult feedback recognizing what we need to hear.
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend in How People Grow talks about the desire to accept the truth:
When people understand that the truth can save and preserve their lives, it is hard not to love it. When you love something, you pursue it and want to be around it. Seek God’s truth. Hang around honest people. Invite safe people to tell you the truth about yourself. Don’t take a passive role with truth: Hunt it down. Pray David’s prayer: “Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me.” (Ps. 43:3)
Finding out the truth about us can scare us, but it brings us life. Community becomes essential. When we have friends who love and care for us, we can listen to the truth knowing they want the best for us.
Some people speak the truth without grace or knowing us. That can become more about them than you. The people that love us the most will give us the reality of where we can grow and how God has brought growth to us.
What my friend said at lunch scared, but confirmed growth in my life. God brings people in our lives who not only help us grow but point to His work in us. Thus, we can do the same for someone else.
What truth might God call you to face today? What truth might God call you to share with another motivated by love?
Photo credit by Alyssa Smith.