Take a moment to notice yourself in a conversation. Do you tend to talk more than any person in the group? Do you tend to stick in the background and listen?
I have had the privilege to co-host the Why God Why Podcast with John Iamaio and our producer Dylan Carnavale. The guests we have had an opportunity to interview have been fantastic.
Recording a podcast can seem like dropping a mic in the middle of a coffee shop table for a conversation. Now, you have a recorded version of your dialogue with people.
My roommate in college, Andrew, commented to me, “Peter, do you realize how much you talk in conversations?” As difficult as that was to hear, I needed to listen to that feedback ten years ago. Then I married a mental health therapist, Robyn, who has modeled listening.
Imagine if people left conversations with you feeling heard and valued. Those impressions have guided me in podcast interviews. I want to take a moment to share with you a few lessons on conversations I have learned from hosting a podcast:
The silence is good.
Often, a guest will respond to a question, and then comes a moment of silence. You have an option to fill that with another question or wait. That moment of silence allows the guest and listener to catch up to their thoughts. I have been amazed that the silence has brought space enough for a guest to give an even more insightful idea.
Resist the temptation to figure out what to say next.
We can become enamored with our next question or idea, that we miss what a person has to say. Many of the most meaningful interviews included all of us being in the moment. When you formulate what you want to say before you have listened, you might miss something precious.
Pause to compliment a fantastic insight.
John, the other co-host, compliments a guest when they give a fantastic insight. John does this in real life, not just the podcast. I believe people need to hear when they say something valuable and remarkable. Just thinking it makes us coast right over it.
Lean into the expertise of the person in the conversation.
We recently interviewed my friend Brett on the question – “Why can’t science answer all my questions?” When you can start a conversation knowing you lack expertise, it invites more questions and listening. Brett’s passion came out in remarkable ways. In our discussions, do we let the experts share their expertise with us?
Reevaluate the conversation.
True, not all of you will record your conversation for a podcast. I find myself reflecting on how I could have navigated an interview better. Most of the time, it includes saying less and holding on to the pauses. I find myself reevaluating conversations in real life. As Clay Scroggins asks, “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”
What podcasts do you listen to, and what have you learned about engaging conversation from them? Share in the comment section below.
Thanks for sharing!